Monday 31 January 2011

pinoccio adaptation



Trees Adapt to Environment EXCLUSIVE


A reader contacted tfo last week with this amazing photograph. It seems the reader was dog walking in woodland and happened upon this sight. Having a nose for a story and after days examining the picture and trying to locate expert opinion, the following was gleaned from a DEFRA insider, who would only speak if we swore to protect our source. It seems, explained our insider, this is not the first sighting of trees sprouting breathing holes in their trunk. Governments in the west, where this seems to be confined, have managed thus far to keep this under the radar. Seems the cull of the Elm, put down to Dutch Elm disease, was a ruse by western governments to keep the lid on this by getting rid of the first tree species to develop external gills.


Our insider went on to explain that trees breathe through their leaves. Chlorophyll absorbs the CO2 and uses it along with water to dissolve minerals taken up through the roots. After the chemical reaction is completed, the leaf releases oxygen and water vapour through its pores.


No one has an explanation for this new mutation, but the best guess at present suggests trees are adapting to climate change and in anticipation of their leaves withering in the heat, something that will adversely affect their ability to breath, they are growing nostrils.


A call today to the Department of Energy and Climate Change wa snot well received. A spokesperson told tfo; 'I am trying not to be too picky, but this is a nonsense, are you being serious? We take a dim view to you sniffing about in places you do not belong. It looks just like an owl if you ask me.'


TFO think this story has a lot longer to run.