cost cutting and tweeting

Comhairle nan Eilean Siar, or as most of you will know it, Western Isles Council, is

resorting to innovative measures in it's attempt to reduce costs. The following is an

example of that twentieth century innovation. One of their information signs near Horgabost on Harris evidences the Council's progress in cost cutting as they miss out punctuation and an unimportant letter.

A Council spokesperson told our roving reporter that while this example only resulted

in a small saving on paint, it was the way forward. 'If we watch the pennies then the

pounds will follow.' The spokesperson went on to say that all internal Council

memorandums and e mails are now 'twittered'. The plan, once they perfect the

system in-house, will be to tweet all Council communications, internal and external.

When asked what percentage of the Council's customers presently tweeted, the

spokesperson had no idea, but was adamant about one thing. If people vote in a

Council to run the place, they should expect their councillors, aided and advised by

the officers, to 'run the place'. After all, he opined, they are the experts and a

forward looking Council like Comhairle nan Eilean Siar would not be held back by

people who, in all likelihood, had hardly ever been off the Island. No that is not how

it works. People have to learn to trust their Council to make the decisions that are

good for them. In terms of this 'tweeting' idea, Council experts have carried out

research in many far of places; New Zealand, Tahiti, California and Thailand and have

come back quite sunburned but more importantly, full of praise for the innovative

ideas picked up in these far flung corners of the globe. The spokesperson seemed a

tad defensive when asked if the research could not have been carried out a bit

nearer home, replying, 'well, in an attempt to keep the research realistic we had to

find places similar to those in our own area, such as Pabail Uarach and Tolastadh a'

Chaolais, a difficult task, but worth the effort. We have to get this right.'

In terms of 'Tweeting', they expect it will take a few months to 'bed in', a quaint

Thailand expression apparently. No doubt there will have to be a steep learning curve,

however I see none of that as a long term problem and if they all simply trust their

Council and follow instructions things would work out for the better and they will be

thanking the Council. The spokesperson was confident that when the public, their

'customers', realized just how much their elected members twittered they would

soon warm to the idea. The Council's accountants and Corporate Communication

experts estimate that once all Council communications are tweeted they will save in

the region of a third to half a million pounds in the first year and expect that to

increase in the years that follow. They look forward to the day when they, Comhairle

nan Eilean Siar, will be the first in the UK to twitter their Annual Report.

Feedback from people in the street was less than enthusiastic. One gentleman

suggested that the only tweeting was coming from the twits at the Council and if he

needed 'tweeting' he would have bought a canary. Another said they could 'twitter

on' before he learned to tweet, adding that with my false teeth I can hardly fecken

whistle never mind tweet. A lady who did not wish to be named said it sounded a bit

like the 'Clangers' and she wondered if the Council were on the same planet. As us or

the Clangers? She never said.